My Dead Nerves

 Weeks ago I was having a bad time with my Gums, I thought it’s just a normal gum problem because I have very sensitive gums. I told my parents how painful the Gums were and they adviced me to see my dentist. All my life I’ve never been brought to a hospital for confinement until now by God’s grace. As I see my doctor , she told me that there was a certain part of my gums that were swollen and had bruises . She did x-ray twice for my gums to see the reason of those swollen parts. After several tests the reason of the pain was dead nerves in my teeth. The only way to cure the pain is to undergo RC or as they call it “Root Canal”.18554824_1535262136497546_505203072_n

 I was on my panic mode hearing I’m in for an operation, and then I was reminded by this verse in Psalm that says

“Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.”

 Hearing the word RC I was so scared. Sitting in the dental chair getting ready for my operation, I set my heart upon God knowing He is in-charge of everything. Because I don’t have any companion rather than myself I asked God to hold my hands while the operation is ongoing. Thank God! San Buena Dental Care has the best doctors and assistants. I felt little nervous but because my doctor explained everything to me and calmed me, everything went well and beautiful. Just like Jesus who cares for His children’s need, He used many people to be instruments and channels of His good deeds.

18553010_1535260119831081_605754660_o I want you to meet the woman behind my successful operation Doctor Lei Antoine Abrecea of San Buena Dental Care; she has been taking care of my teeth and my dad as well. From the very start SBDC has been the one taking care of our family’s dental needs. Special thanks to the beautiful person behind all blessings and favor in our family, Doctor Dior SanBuenaventura Santos. If you want to experience having a smile like a beauty queen visit them18575747_1535259956497764_1631927642_o

at UG 17City Land Tower Shaw Mandaluyong City, at the back of Shang-ri-la La Place.

18516798_1535260783164348_875063464_oAfter the operation I asked God what he wanted to tell me to undergo such operation. He impressed to me the three roots that have to be cut down. The dead nerves represent the pain in our lives. Just like how the RC operation went , many times they had to put many needles that can cause you pain that allows them to give you anesthesia. After all the pain, the doctor will clean all the roots make sure no bacteria are left in the canals and then put a cement to cover the holes of the canals. Just like in real life application , putting anesthesia is the time you surrender all your grudges in the hands of God . What I’ve learned is that if you surrender your dead nerves or your troubles and pain in the Lord, He will be the doctor to heal every nerve. He cleans the intention of our hearts . Covers the canal with undeserved grace and lavished with water of love. In the end, God puts Victory over everything. Now no more pain because I learned to Trust In His Heart more than most….18553067_1535260356497724_1615337369_o

 

Ending My Selah Time

If you have been reading my other blog entries  you already have the  glimpse of what my selah time has been doing so far. Nights ago while turning channels to different stations  , I came across  watching a Christian program called The 700 Club Asia . That time I knew that it’s not an accident for me to stay tune on that station, the Lord immediately told me that I have to wait about something. While watching the said program they have this segment wherein they pray  freely according to what God has been telling them to  pray for. That time one of the host named  Kata Innocencio prayed about a girl who has been oppressed by the enemy and the Lord is  just giving that person a hope, peace and joy inside her heart and setting her free from any holds of the enemy. That time I knew it already and I immediately claim that prayer for me.  As the program ended before I go to bed, I always have these time to set my heart upon God and do my quiet time with the Lord. During my time with God he confirms through His word in Revelations 21

Revelation 21  Contemporary English Version (CEV)

The New Heaven and the New Earth

21 I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The first heaven and the first earth had disappeared, and so had the sea. Then I saw New Jerusalem, that holy city, coming down from God in heaven. It was like a bride dressed in her wedding gown and ready to meet her husband.

I heard a loud voice shout from the throne:

God’s home is now with his people. He will live with them, and they will be his own. Yes, God will make his home among his people. He will wipe all tears from their eyes, and there will be no more death, suffering, crying, or pain. These things of the past are gone forever.

Then the one sitting on the throne said:

I am making everything new. Write down what I have said. My words are true and can be trusted. Everything is finished! I am Alpha and Omega,[a] the beginning and the end. I will freely give water from the life-giving fountain to everyone who is thirsty. All who win the victory will be given these blessings. I will be their God, and they will be my people.

 

 

What clearly strikes to me in this verse was the “ Everything is Finished!” , I don’t want to pretend or  push immediately myself to be okay because I wanted it to be genuine . I wanted God to be the one to tell me that I’m okay so truly He did. This has been a confirmation that truly I’m okay.

I realized how wonderful it is  to allow God to move in my pains. There’s always a purpose for me, choosing to have  my selah moment with God. The Lord totally allowed everything to happen.  The verses during my time with God  was a confirmation that everything is finished. All throughout my selah  journey I learned that being sensitive can bring good and bad but the way I respond in the situation matters most for the Lord. I learned not to decide immediately rather to surrender all in the  hands  of our Father. That problems must be faced personally  not to  run away from it. I choose to love and stay loving. To appreciate not to blame . To love them not to hate and to understand not to question.   There is a purpose for every pain, that I learned how to submit myself under God. Acknowledging Him for everything , I know God is up to something for me and I’m ready for it . Luke 22:31–32

Luke 22:31-32  New International Version (NIV)

31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

 

It’s about time to go back. Obeying to what God has been ordering me to do. When correction is necessary ; it should be done with KINDNESS and LOVE . In that way we become imitators of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Isaiah 48:10 New International Version (NIV)

10 See, I have refined you, though not as silver;
I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

In life we undergone several refinement because we are always under construction  and a work in progress  for God. 98More than anything else He remain the same God who is sovereign indeed in our lives !

 

Meet me in Bataan

 

Holy week is almost over and now its time for us to explore. Fewer people around the beach  , no crowded places and no heavy traffic is always what we look forward during travels like these . Every summer we took a relaxing  day to unwind. Last year we explore Ilocos and Baguio so this time we are in Bataan.

Bataan was fully known for it’s contribution in our Philippine history but we didn’t get the chance to go from those historical sites in Bataan. There were only two destinations we got to visit from our one day tour in  Bataan.CIMG0975

  1. Vietnamese Food House

The Famous Loleng’s Hutieu-An .

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Hutieu-An in Filipino is  mami noodle soup according to my grandmother who is a  Vietnamese.

We ordered there famous Banh Mi

A traditional vietnamese sandwich.

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And the Best seller Hutieu Beef and Chicken special.

 

The Food was a blast. Very delicious and affordable for all types of people.The service was good we only waited 5-10 minutes for the food to be served. With a very friendly space for everyone inside the store. Here are some photos I got to take.

2.  Juness Beach Resort

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This is where we almost stayed the whole day. Juness was located at  Morong Bataan. With the help of online road maps we were able to get there with no problems. The resort would be highly recommended. The beach  is so clean and  the sands were all good. Even the beach itself has nothing to  worry  about because the sea has no rocks or shells under it.  The shower room worked well for everyone. The resort has a big beach space were kids can run , build sand castles and play around. They also have one big pool.

Looking at the horizon of the sky , I can’t imagine how wonderful God has created all for us. I tend to sit beside the shore and just take a deep breath. Acknowledging how amazing our creator. His creation speaks clearly  of Him. The unconditional love he has for us.CIMG1070

Given the chance to refresh and unwind allows me to see God in a deeper manner. He always causes things according to His Glory !

 

 

 

 

Let It Be

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My mind contains some questions. Wherein there are thoughts that   I want to know; the purpose of every pain, the goal of each challenges and the reason for every trials. I want to know everything that is going on in my life. I want to know where things will bring me and where am I heading too. Why such pain keeps visiting my life; questions me every time. Looking for answers, I put everything on my hand just to answer all my questions, but I was wrong after all.

I took a break from everything , I set my heart on  God alone  during those days I don’t feel any better good in my life .  In the middle of life’s testing of faith and struggles I choose to find Jesus in my dark moments and low lights.

I asked God to remove my pain many times but GRACE Is all I need. I kept reminding myself that His ways are higher than my own. That there are things and struggles happening , I may not find a concrete answer or explanation from Him  but soon I will understand His own reason for allowing things as it be.

In life He allows us to suffer for us to learn to depend on Him more.  To seek Him in spirit and truth. So that His Glory and name will be lifted up. The greatest pains can be our stepping stone for His greater calling. We may not find any reason to be thankful in the midst of the storms we must rejoice in all circumstances. One day ,all these mess will turn out  to be God’s masterpiece.

 

Today I’m learning to let things as it is. I found myself not to question His ways. Not to question all the pain inside. Resist  the enemy of  doubt .    Instead I  learned  to be still in Him. I Learn  to trust God in all things. Allow Him to move over my life, correct my heart, realign my inner thoughts and restore my faith.  I’m learning to thank Him in all hardships and testing for I know someday it can benefit others. Encourage someone who will undergo the same as mine makes all the difference .

Every day I face things as what God wants.  Believing that He is the one in-charge over my pain to make me COMPLETE . For I choose to STEADY  my heart in unison to the beat of His .  Able to stand STRONG  in my faith knowing  His  better plans for me.  And as He keeps moving the mountains of my life I found a FIRM foundation in Him.

letter to self

Dear self,

I know how much you are feeling right now. I may not be able to choose the right words to describe my feelings now for you know what my heart cries out. He is silent in this season but holds on and takes heart. You never know how and what tomorrow will bring you to His destined plans. Right now, set your heart align to Him and let your heart rest on His constant plans. You may never know and understand things that are happening but keep trusting Him. You may wonder why no one notices your pain and your struggles but there is a big God who knows every single detail. No needs to use many highfalutin words just to impress anyone, for you are to impress the only one true king of your life.

There are people you choose to love but not in return. They may hurt you and fail your expectations but one thing remains because the Love of God for you remains constant through trial and change.

Right now you chose to pause and see who the real ones to stay are. You expect them to run after you but you see yourself running after God. For you are created after Gods own heart not to anyone else.

Almost every day you learn the true essence of praying; not to ask God to bless your human plans but to allow Him   lay down His plans over your life. Accept that things may not materialize according to your own will but God alone.

Two things to my dear self: never expect because it will only cause you inner hurts.  Never bring jealousy in your mind for it is the tool of the enemy to disturb you and delay the things God has set for you.

At this point in time wait patiently, watch diligently and continue seeking the Lord’s will in your life.

Don’t be depressing. Don’t be jealous. Don’t stress yourself to those people.

Before you encourage someone you must be encouraged by God using your trials and struggles to be an effective tool to others in His Kingdom.

In the end of the day I will continue proclaiming that you are my good, good Abba Father in heaven.

Audrey you are worth every tear and scar even when you feel you’re not, you are made beautiful in my eyes. Keep that in your HEART. –Abba Father

1 peter 5:1-11

1Church leaders, I am writing to encourage you. I too am a leader, as well as a witness to Christ’s suffering, and I will share in his glory when it is shown to us.

2 Just as shepherds watch over their sheep, you must watch over everyone God has placed in your care. Do it willingly in order to please God, and not simply because you think you must. Let it be something you want it do, instead of something you do merely to make money.

3Don‘t be bossy to those people who are in your care, but set an example for them.

4 Then when Christ the Chief Shepered returns, you will be given a crown that will never lose its glory.

5 all of you young people should obey your elders. In fact, everyone should be humble toward everyone else. The scripture say,

“God opposes proud people, but he helps everyone who is humble.”

6 Be humble in the presence of God’s mighty power, and he will honor you when the time comes.

7God cares for you, so turn all your worries over to him.

8 Be on your guard and stay awake. Your enemy, the devil, is like a roaring lion, sneaking around to find someone to attack.

 

9 But you must resist the devil and stay strong in your faith. You know that all over the world the Lords followers are suffering just as you are.

10 But God shows undeserved kindness to everyone. That’s why he appointed Christ Jesus to choose you to share in his eternal glory. You will suffer for a while, but God will make you complete, steady, strong, and firm.

11 God will be in control forever! Amen.

Pause

Past few days I’m preoccupied by so many works from school. I’ve been caught up in the middle of school stress because it’s almost finals week plus an emotional stress kind of feeling.

I have emotional issues within myself towards other people. They may not know it yet, but yes I’m a person who is so emotional. My love language are touch and quality time. I love people who loves me and appreciates me more than most. Those people who spent so much one on one time with me like: dates, heart to heart talks, conversational walks , sit with me and just talk about life.

Months ago I feel  out-of-place by a set of group , knowing myself I wasn’t like that. I don’t easily get jealous by anyone but I don’t know why I get jealous. I tend to ask God why, and God seems so silent about it. So I go on with my life…and then again the feeling keeps on coming  back. I thought I was pretty okay but as days goes by it goes deeper and deeper with my emotions.  I even felt that no one loves me in this world,that people does  have favoritism . I even doubted to God if He does really hears my prayers and cry at night  . Because I have no one to share about my fights I found my self depress and hot-tempered most of the time.

Until one day I found myself crying at the corner  of my bed asking God why is this feeling of jealousy  keeps bothering me. As I face my final week for school , the feeling  still bothers me but because studies are more important I focus myself first in finishing my requirements .  Now that the school is  mostly over I decided to deal my self this time. I’ve been doing good in school and now it’s time for me to deal my emotions and feelings. As I pray and ponder how can I help my self to be okay I decided to  have my “SELAH” moment with God. Just so you know selah is a word that can be associated with PAUSE. Having a selah moment is a time wherein you put your focus on the things God wants you to think about . You allow to pause and let God have the full authority in your life. You spend time to meet God and allowing yourself to be more open to Him.

At this point I’m about to set my heart , emotions, spirit , mind and soul in a selah moment with God. I want to put an end to my jealousy issue within myself and put a stop in my  bad emotions. I wanted God to be the one to help me deal with my self. Even though in this process He seems to be so silent but I believe when God is silent He is up to something for me. I love people who are dear to me , I love helping them , being their companion, the listener kind of friend, the food buddy kind of classmates and an encouragement type of believer  but before those things I must first help my self to be right with God . To be Holy and sanctified follower of Christ who aims to be more Christ-like everyday of my life.

I came across to this verse that I still keep on holding on for His promises endures in my life.

Psalm 46:1-9 

King James Version (KJV)

46 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.

God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.

The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.

The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

Come, behold the works of the Lord, what desolations he hath made in the earth.

He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.

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Because in the end of the day you are the rock of my life. He remains the faithful and constant God I have in my life. The one who will never forsake His children  for we belong to you.

When Life becomes Unfair

Last night a close friend of mine asked me to help her about her home work. She needed a hand in creating an essay about a thing that symbolizes her mother. This Friend is my elementary and high school buddy who is so close to me. She lost her parents because of a tragedy in a boat that caused her to stand alone in life.

I wanted to share  to you the essay I made for her :

 

” My Candle Light

Back then all I knew my future was fine. I have my mom , dad and brothers. My family was one of a kind. I feel special every time I’m with them.More so I’m the only girl with my only elderly brother.   All I know everything was perfect and happy. Suddenly an incident happen in my life. That would lead my life to turn around.
My mom is the candle of my life. She has been my constant light . My light when at night I’m afraid to sleep because of the dark. She will be there to embrace me and put me to sleep. But that fire in the candle has  been the reason for me to lose her . Our boat sank in the middle of an ocean and I’m the only one who survived. Truly that fire in the candle has been my turning point.
I lost everything . My father ,my mother and  my relatives . God has a purpose why he allow that fire to changed my life. This candle reminds me that in this dark world full of chaos and bad things ,my mom remains to be my candle light in the dark.   Whenever I  would see a candle its my mom who always comes to my mind.
My mom who has been giving me light in this world. That despite of anything here on earth , my mom is praying for me up there . She will be my forever inspiration that despite of any dark moments, I could still rejoice for she is my candle light.
My last candle lightning would always be the best memory for me and my mom. I have to light up a candle every time I miss her.  Now this candle means so much because its my mom’s symbol of love for me. This candle is my mom who will always be the light in my darkest.”

I witness her low and high lights in this world. I just have to thank God for this friend of mine, whatever wherever life would bring you; we need to be more stronger than ever. It’s hard to lose a relative or  friend what more a parents we have in this world.

So for my friend if you came across this post , I hope you’ll find peace and embrace from our dearest comforter Jesus Christ. They said if you lose your earthly father here on earth it’s the Father in Heaven that would father you in this world. I will keep praying for you, no matter what I’m trusting God . For He has a purpose for you in this world.

Take Heart my dear for the Lord our God is with us always.

 

 

 

 

 

Brave heart

Brave Heart

it’s been a year God granted me another chance to live my life here on earth. If I can still remember last year in the 3rd week of June I experienced a severe tonsillitis and an abnormal heart beat. Later did I know that I was experiencing a heart attack that time in my school.  During class hours I was still active then ,  participating in my class but seriously my  heart beat is really fast. I approach a friend to accompany me in the  university clinic and the head nurse was very alarmed in my condition. He told me to see a doctor on that very same day but because the university doctor was not around my choice was to see our family doctor. To cut the long story short the tonsillitis that I’ve experienced trigger for a Rheumatic Heart Problem. I undergone thru many test just to confirm my heart problem, that time I am in the middle of an ocean deep experienced . There are many things coming in my mind like I didn’t know if I’m still going to have a normal life because having a rheumatic heart requires for a monthly injection of penicillin , am I going to die and if we can afford the entire expenses. At that point all I can do was  to pray and surrender things   in the Lord.

That very same week during our Sunday worship service there was this song sung that totally  began  my hearts prayer to the Lord

. As it says in one of its lyrics

“You are the strength of my life Lord, It doesn’t matter what may come my way. I’m holding on to you “

was it very timely in my situation?  I can’t control but  to cry it out, holding my heart claiming it’s the Lord that will hold my heart and be in control for the upcoming result of my hospital test to found  out if  I’ll be required of injections or medicine.  All I’ve done was pray, seek God, surrender things and ask prayers from my Faith Group . I even told God that  if you will permit this trials to come can you make me brave as I face it.  Knowing he is sovereign and in control of my life , when the result came out the next morning  my doctor happily told me that the result was very close but God is good because the result shows only a point saves me from the injection required. Thankfully God is at work, I can’t believe a point one saves everything, by oral medicines healing will be done.

Before I close my eyes that night I talked  to God, I thanked Him for being faithful to me , for keeping His promises alive in my heart , choosing me to experienced  trials that makes my heart to turn to Him and  be brave in facing challenges and asking Him to reveal  what he wants me to learn from the situation.

I was reminded in

Joshua 1:9

“I’ve commanded you to be STRONG and BRAVE. Don’t ever be afraid or discouraged!  I am the Lord  your God , and I will be there to help you wherever you will go. “

Today God reminded  me how wonderful His plans in my life.  I am thankful to celebrate my life anniversary and adding more love was celebrating it  with my Faith Group family. If you will ask  Faith Group is a Group of people formed for life strengthening that is rooted in God. We shared our life victories and struggles together and seeing how God  continuously work  in our lives.  They are my prayer partners who stood beside me in my low lights and my cheerers in my high lights. Without  the support of my family , friends ,SquidGoals, church family and faith groups maybe I will missed what God has for me. It is my prayer that somehow in your life this post revealed something to you about who  God is . How God perform miracles ,blessings   and this  brave heart that I have  in facing  things is all because of His Grace alone.  Let us continue glorifying God in our own little ways.

God Bless!

Devoted to Jesus “DJ”

Having friends in your life makes you thankful from the Lord.  Friend/s that gives encouragement , helps you to know the Lord more , being there beside you in times of need and most of all a friend that is devoted to Jesus.

In my  life I have lots of friends  most of them are from my school ,church, family and relatives . Having such them around helps me to pursue my self before the Lord even more. Years ago , I prayed to the Lord asking  for help as I enter college. Back then I was a high school graduating student,that time I was nervous how am I going to face and handle  college challenges. At  that time we(family) where still at our former church, I joined a so called D-group  there we  study God’s word ,meet friends ,being open to each other , face life challenges with God and treat each other as a family .

As I enjoy having D-group the Lord provided me friends that  helped  me to calm and prepare my self as I enter college.They have been such a big help for me in adjusting my life as a college student.

D-group

D-group

family in christ

family in christ

Inside that D-group I met this girl that have become my super friend and my college accountability partner .

11061333_416921405142549_3184848242243074957_n We became friends for the long run and until now. Even though were not at the same church right now , what important is the friendship and love that we have for each other. We still continue to hang out and exchange words of encouragement every time we don’t feel things out.

our college bonding time together

our college bonding time together

Few weeks ago ,she celebrated her 18th birthday in advance but her real birthday is today! I am very thankful that I was there to witness her day becoming a true Lady . We spent together preparing for her party that night and it was really a memorable day for the both of us.

all set for the party

all set for the party

fixing our hair and make up
fixing our hair and make

I praise God for her life because in so many ways the Lord used and continue to use this friend of mine in my life. She help me to figure things out and pursue  my relationship with the Lord more despite of many circumstances. Our lives maybe different but our hearts are One in Christ. I’m very blessed to have such a friend like Dee that devotes  herself to Jesus.Even though we are still students that does not give excuse not to serve the Lord.11890005_841743315939098_6712399904331269794_o 12032672_841728519273911_1287960549477848952_o 12010628_841743009272462_149878117654283125_o

 

And to the girl celebrating her day …. As our D-group leader achi  describe you as a girl ” Devoted to Jesus” may you experience the love of God everyday. I knew that the Lord God has used you greatly to encourage and inspire people around ,brighten up their face by your sweet smile and comfort them with your warm embrace. You’ve remained a true friend all the while for all of us.  Happy Birthday Dee !

Surrender it to Me

Months ago while I am having my quiet time with the Lord , He reminded me about what my heart desires for. At that time my heart desires is to pass the qualifying exam in my school. The qualifying exam is the key for me know if I will be promoted to second year and continue my studies at the same course .

I told the Lord that my heart is longing to pass this exam and the Lord spoke to me that very same time to Surrender it to Him. At first ,I hesitate because I know that I can do it to pass but the Lord revealed  to me that in my own self  and strength I cannot make it to pass unless I totally surrender it on His hand. In the bible it says in 1 Peter 5:7 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you”. It says here that if we have anxiety in our minds, worries in our heart and even situations in life that we cannot handle there is this GOD who cares for us. Willingly offers Him self to leave all your worries unto Him. Isn’t that so sweet ?

 As I passed by this verse it really convince me to surrender the result of my exam  in hands of God, I end up that night with a prayer of surrendering my  desires and leave everything in God’s will. By God’s grace the result went out and thankfully I passed the exam. At this moment  I am enjoying  the half of my first semester as second year college student. Without God and if I don’t surrender my self that time to Him ,11816983_495484577281474_5875310191903618424_n maybe I’m not in this stage of my life right now.