Where is God when the pain really hurts? R.E.S.T.

Two months ago they found something in my left breast, without expecting for such findings because totally there was nothing I felt. I’m not even to take some serious shots with my breast because my real intention that time was to address my lungs issues. So when I received the results of my lung examination tests I saw other findings about my left breast. As consulted with my very kindhearted doctor she recommended for a breast ultrasound which I refused.  During that time my focus was my lungs, setting aside serious treatment with the breast thing. At the back of my mind it’s just a soft tissue in my breast nothing to worry about because it could be just some baby fats around and medicines can take control melting it.  To cut the long story short, after my lung medication, other symptoms started to arise in my body.  Felt dizziness most of the time, an out balance in my body, frequent body aches  , bone ache  and headaches.  Because all I thought it’s normal to feel things that way, in the middle of my final season of the semester in school. Facing different sleepless nights and stress to finish my school task allows me to sleep late in the morning already, with such a busy mode my focus is to just finish everything because being a graduating student is real.

It was the days of my Birthday that things get worsen enough in my body. I felt something’s wrong in my left neck; experiencing late night chills, fever,body and head pains at night. I clearly remember how my body would scream in pain those nights and all I can do is ask the Lord to help me out.

Next day, immediately set an appointment with my doctor that day because I felt two lumps as big as marble on my both left and right lower neck. Observing myself in the mirror I noticed that my jaws are not proportion, so I started to touch my left neck and yes, totally a painful touch of a big scattered swollen parts. So I met my doctor finally and we end up by having two findings.  It could be a mumps but the location was totally hilarious and another thing to consider is the Lyhmpagnitis, knowing that I also have another two big lumps in both sides of my neck added by the soft tissue seen in my left breast.  So I took medication and started considering taking a deeper actions with my breast because seriously the breast and the neck are connected to one another.

I choose to calm down and surrender my thoughts to the Lord. Whether Lymphoma, Tumor or Cancer, my heart is secured in Jesus Christ. Even before I went to the doctor the Lord talked to me already that He is to give me a sickness and my respond is to find REST in Him alone. So I kept silent about my fight, resting on Jesus alone. Shared my journey with few people close to me – my parents , my sister , some of my closest sister in Christ and my Faith Group Leader . They encourage me to be stronger and trust Jesus that He is able to do impossible things.

As the medication journey begins there are still pains in my body, my neck squeezing me in pain and my head ache started to get worse. With such situation I learned to yield myself before God. Those  nights I would asked God where he is in my painful nights and does he truly care for me  are still clear in my mind.


Accepting that I am weak and not in control over my life, at that point- lingering in my thoughts and emotions – dealing with my physical pain, I stared upon a book given to me by a special friend and started reading the book by Ardy Roberto entitled- “The Heart of Healing”. By reading that book the Lord began to speak and made me realize that my Abba Father is also my great Physician. I started to process things before Him and acknowledge resting upon Him in FAITH.  The one word he has given me is REST and I put corresponding reminders on each letters allowing me to remain strong and firm.


 R. E. S. T.


     Remind yourself that He is FAITHFUL

Examine your heart.  Exhale the bad thoughts and Inhale  His goodness

 Simply rely and rest on His unchanging LOVE

Thankful heart towards the constant Abba Father



I keep myself on the attitude of REST- everyday I’m tired of experiencing pains, dealing with the struggle in drinking medicines and side effects I would always recite those things and remain in Him. I knew from the start that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He might be so quiet but as the saying goes “The teacher is quiet during exams or test.”

After pondering I step out and started to take decision to get several test. To confirm things if Cancer, Lymphoma or Tumor.  As I began to undergo such tests I put my REST mode in Jesus, whatever the results might bring me, His name to be praised forever.

So the day finally came and the results are out.  And here you go now girl . . . .  . NEGATIVE – is the first word in the diagnosis paper  Praise God! No soft tissue seen in my left  and right breast  and no signs of any cancerous marbles in my  neck, I believed something called miracle happened to me.  I can finally breathe clearly hahaha… with such a big relief it was. If you can see my face how bright it was when I shared the news to those people who prayed with me and shared some love in my journey.

Although the findings of my other test result leads to another journey in my ovaries but as the Lord leads me to REST and  that will always be.  I pictured myself in the palm of God resting on Him in the middle of my pains and He is always at my side developing and protecting me. I’m not scared with the new findings because Jesus won it all at the cross. By His stripes I and you are healed. And in our painful times he seems quiet but His ways are higher than ours because all things work together for our good for those who put trust in Him.

Maybe you can’t believe about all this because despite of my journey of pain I still projected an Audrey kind of way and only few may notice something’s wrong.  Others may find me more apart that’s because I am quiet and not feeling better.  And maybe you just come across this entry and in your head a whisper saying “Why? Do I care?”  all I can say is Yes …you must care, because there are  more people around you who chose to keep quiet in life’s journey  that  totally needs some hug, love, support , prayer  or encouragement. Never set them aside instead be a blessing to them. We are created blessed to bless others by our best of appreciation, love and care.  A simple “how can I pray for you?” can be a good start to help a friend and make a difference in her journey.  A person who truly cares is a real treasure in life and can be considered a heavenly sent people. So let’s spread the love of Jesus by caring and sharing our best adventures.    To those  I never tap  to  share my struggles back then , I apologize  if  I  close my heart to share this journey before.   Just like others who keep quiet in a journey they may also have an excuse to open up just like mine, but it’s also by the Grace of God that someone brave enough shared her love, encouragement, prayer and care to me despite of my excuses .That’s why I began to open my heart to other people and started sharing what is really going on in me.  So here it is the whole story of that journey I hide before but now sharing to you. My journey with Lyhmpagnitis has come to an end but my journey with Jesus is not yet done.  My journey in touching those hearts that refuse to express and fill the mind and hearts with excuses is just starting. Be part of making this world a place of love and be a thankful servant after Gods own  heart. Sharing how faithful Jesus in our lives by making Him known and allowing others to experience the love of God. Let His power be displayed and miracles work! Glory is all yours Abba Father !

Psalm 71 NIV

In you, Lord, I have taken refuge;
    let me never be put to shame.
In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;
    turn your ear to me and save me.
Be my rock of refuge,
    to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked,
    from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel.

For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord,
    my confidence since my youth.
From birth I have relied on you;
    you brought me forth from my mother’s womb.
    I will ever praise you.
I have become a sign to many;
    you are my strong refuge.
My mouth is filled with your praise,
    declaring your splendor all day long.

Do not cast me away when I am old;
    do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
10 For my enemies speak against me;
    those who wait to kill me conspire together.
11 They say, “God has forsaken him;
    pursue him and seize him,
    for no one will rescue him.”
12 Do not be far from me, my God;
    come quickly, God, to help me.
13 May my accusers perish in shame;
    may those who want to harm me
    be covered with scorn and disgrace.

14 As for me, I will always have hope;
    I will praise you more and more.

15 My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,
    of your saving acts all day long—
    though I know not how to relate them all.
16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord;
    I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone.
17 Since my youth, God, you have taught me,
    and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
18 Even when I am old and gray,
    do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
    your mighty acts to all who are to come.

19 Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
    you who have done great things.
    Who is like you, God?
20 Though you have made me see troubles,
    many and bitter,
    you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
    you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor
    and comfort me once more.

22 I will praise you with the harp
    for your faithfulness, my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
    Holy One of Israel.
23 My lips will shout for joy
    when I sing praise to you—
    I whom you have delivered.
24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts
    all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me
    have been put to shame and confusion.



Food review AuZi Explorer: Passengerseat and Dekada’90 Cafe


If you’re a person who likes travelling and leisure this is a perfect place to chill, have fun and enjoy. The Auzi Explorers went straight to the new food house we discovered along Aquilina street corner Mayor Gill Fernando Avenue here in Marikina City. This city is known as the shoe capital of the Philippines, today the city is also known as a place of different delicious food parks you can find.   Passing by the Aquilina street  your eyes will be caught by a big red and white signage called Passengerseat . The big double decker bus  inspired will greet you as you enter. On the side a perfect airplane inspired seats are ready for you to dig in.22154193_1860620247288197_6792873100944470874_n

As you look around there is a space  prepared for the customers   picture perfect ,matched the theme perfectly with traveling bag on the side.CIMG1121CIMG1126

My friend Zia and I took a seat  to a very comfortable bus chair inspired , the menu was   the first one to hand on  us. Menu list was airport  travel inspired  focusing local flights like Cebu, Dagupan, Roxas , Dagupan and many more. With the said menu boodle fight for family bunch is to be found. Different seafood specialties by the said place.  One of the best seller in passenger seat and a must to taste when you visit the place is the Singaporean home made icecream sandwich. Very affordable price +  delightful creamy ice cream +wafer= Ice cream Sandwich.


For only 60 pesos you can now enjoy your ice cream sandwich with wafer.  According to the manager we interviewed name Rafael Asuncion the first location of passenger seat was at provident village Marikina , then they transferred  here at Aquilina street.  They are still in the soft opening process of the store and no final date for the grand opening. Usually the target market of this food house are people from class A and B. Focusing in Barkada group and families.  As he added the history of the said place is that the owner loves to travel and ants to bring in a first food adventure experience for the customer.  Right now they are fixing there final menu wherein they will add a combination of American –inspired foods and Italian to jive with the pinoy inspired foods. So far as the customer service is concern the staffs are very accommodating . Cleanliness is observed and comfort room is present.

The store  schedule is Monday –Thursday –Sunday 11 a.m. -11p.m.


Frisay –  Satrday 11 a.m. – 12midnight


After passenger seat , the second destination we have is the Deada 90 café. Infront of OLOPSC along SSS village a small café you will notice. If you  are looking for an intimate place , small café , big in serving and an old style theme this is a place to visit and dine. We went there to try the unlimited chicken wings but sad thing they ran out of the promo. So we decided to just stick on the menu. Our budget is only 500 pesos. To our surprise the menu was served on a whit folder, printed bondpaper and a staple. So cool how they sticked with the 90’s theme. Antic toys and memorabilia’s can be found around with some hanging slippers and pabitin to see.CIMG1156

We tried the spicy shrimp and pesto pasta that truly comes with a kicked spice and flavored full-cream served with toast bread on the side. Serving g was greatly big can be shared or solo for just 120 pesos.22279858_1860619603954928_7707771398940819905_n22195448_1860619510621604_3427490096864231770_nCIMG1154

Another we tried was the rice meal. We had the Crispy Chicken and the Barbeque Chicken served by a quarter pound size and vegetables on the plate. The Crispy Chicken was served with good plating and when u sliced it and has a bite the chicken tremendously remains crunchy and tasty. Even though we asked to return the crispy chicken its kind a not well cooked inside. While the Barbeque Chicken was greatly served with plating as well taste equally with spice, tenderness and blending of flavors. Wait there’s more with such a price the rice meal is offered by unlimited rice, favored for people who loves rice! Yeah!22154411_1860619667288255_1591210340242474674_n22195249_1860619353954953_6256964169436069368_n

Our 500 worth of budget was greatly sulit! Two pasta dishes and two chicken meals with unlirmited rice are not bad at all. With an air-conditioned café with such a warm place to stay and hang out with friends and family this small café is such a pop. We enjoyed taking pictures of this café. Even though we are not able to interview the manager because he/she is not around we definitely consider ourselves a satisfied customer. Preferably we are to come back with friends.CIMG1230CIMG122822195728_1860619297288292_7076609139779196867_n


Making A Difference is a Passion from the Heart

The best way to celebrate teacher’s day is to honor an educator who makes a difference in today’s world.

Josephine Villareal Nepomuceno known as Teacher Jojo in the world of special education society. From the province of Capiz, the third from the eight siblings , mother , wife , teacher , friend, coach , NILD Educational therapist, consultant , Director/Founder of Edu-càre Learning Center, Inc. formerly Learning Partner’s School, Inc. , board member of the ADHD Society of the Philippines , conference chairperson for national regional conferences and an advocate in ADHD society .


Zia and I were given a chance to have an interview with her and share more of her life and her advocacy.


Zia and I with Teacher Jojo



As a child when her grandparents were still alive, every Sunday –

There would be a family get together for all of them. They would eat together as a family and used those times to bond with each other, that’s her happiest moments as a child. Giving birth to her only son was the moment she considered her greatest treasure.

Growing up it has been her grandfather and dad, whom she looks up to. As teacher Jojo was greatly influenced by these great gentlemen, she only realized it later on in her life they have been her role

model in serving people committed and followed the same track like them. Her late grandfather – the former speaker of the house during martial law and a congressman for fifty years. Her late dad – the former governor of Capiz. She would always join them during elections and just like other children of the politicians they would sing and dance during campaigns. They were the first grandchildren in her father side and most of the time they would always go with their grandfather wherever they go because they are  very close in her father side. She even studied back in the province for a year during martial law.

During her childhood she can’t even recall any deep painful experience because the family was very happy , aside from the moment they travelled to Hong kong as a family,they are eight as siblings ;she was lost and found by the bell boy and returned her back to her family. But growing up the death of her grandfather and dad brought her the most painful experience to share. In the process of mourning and grieving they are not really planning to bring his dad back to the province because they experience already to her grandfather how tiring to bring them to so many places, but it’s the people of Capiz requested for them to bring the body back in the province. In that she even realized how her grandfather and dad were loved by many. People would come down from mountains , jeepneys an buses just to give respect and comfort to the family . In that she finds happiness and love despite of the families mourning they saw people touched by his dad.

“Kaya ako I’m happy with what I do, because

somehow related to what my dad and grandfather did.” teacher Jojo shared.

Many people and friends would describe Teacher Jojo as a jolly and lovely person, but there are also only few people would know that she is also “Masungit” .

Pag may problema ako I can be so masungit na hindi mo ako makakausap” she describes herself .

Despite everyday’s life challenges what keeps her going is our Lord. Whenever she encounters problems she prays knowing you have someone like Jesus whatever happens . Being in the field of special education for 21 years, lots of people do bad things against her.

I asked the Lord to help me forget things. Kasi I believe if your heart is full of unforgivenes ikaw na ang ma –stu-stumble. Hayan mo na ,bahala na lang si Lord. Ako I just count my blessings and tend to forget. There must be a reason, so look at your blessings first . Don’t just try to forget , Forgive” she said.

In her career what keeps her going is her students . After her son was diagnose with ADHD she wants to give back to the people and help those with special needs to have an opportunity to develop. There are times she wants to give up then suddenly there would be parents coming to her and would thank her for making a difference in the life of their children.

“My son was born I already had a school , kaya nga pin-re- pare ako ng Lord. Inuna ni Lord na magtayo muna ako ng school”teacher Jojo added.


(Career and School )

After graduating Bachelor of Secondary Education, Major in Special Education ,it was her professor in University of the Philippines who inspired her to put up a school for special education.

I wanted to work with older kids” teacher Jojo said.

Their brain is wide and different. Somebody in need of help and love. As persons we have the obligation to help them. Someone who has rights like other children or adult. They must be treated equally . They need to be accepted . Kaya nga nasa mall ako eh kasi they also deserve to be in a mall … atyaka may individual strength silaa… ” Teacher Jojo ‘s personal description of special needs .

There are higher and lower functioning . She envisions people with special needs by helping them find opportunity in the society. Building them holistically and helping them discover their own ability to contribute in the society.

Like I have a student who is a lower functioning but you know he bakes thebest chocolate cookies” she shared.


My Dream is to be a charismatic adult to my students.. somebody as a teacher, na naalala ka ng student mo na…yan…. yung nag make a difference in my life..”-Teacher Jojo.

Being in the field for two decades , it’s no joke and Teacher Jojo has no regrets putting up a school.  Personally it changed her as a person and made her happy with what she is doing.

Giving herself in the society as a committed teacher helping people with special needs is her great  contribution. She made her son as example of how proud she has become now. The more parents are involved and understanding the children better, there are so much possibilities to do and help . That’s why Teacher Jojo wanted to continue advocating for the special needs community .

The love of what she does and the passion from her heart allows her to make a difference and the strength that the Lord gives her . Most importantly how her family raised her. She grew up having a golden spoon in her mouth but they don’t grew up as brats .

Remember history of the family is important. You are a person because of your family and how they nurture you as you grew up .Yung heart mo is pano ka din pinalaki.. Pinalaki kami na may utang na loob ka sa tao .kaya nga… ako nag decide maging teacher. We owe it to the people not the people owe us…that’s the thing I wanted our children to remember.” -Teacher Jojo shared

As a parent Teacher Jojo’s son John was her biggest success . As a teacher it would be her students , seeing them successful in their own unique ways and make a difference in the society. One thing that teacher Jojo shared to us was the importance of team approach. In sped the program there should not be only limited to student- teacher team . It has to be holistic approach and it has to be intertwined. The training of every individual. As a parent you have to know your child, you have to know what program your child shall undergo and how they should be involved. As a teacher you must be understandable if the parents accepted the child’s condition and most importantly is to know your parents, know the family because we have cultural differences . In the community and society to respect them equally.

Teacher Jojo’s  piece of advice:

“You have to love what you do. Do your job not for the sake of money but because you love doing it.   Teachers…. continue learning because they are so many updates. Ako I’m studying parin .. kailangan mag -aral ka padin in the speed of education ..kasi nagche- change ang world. Like now iba na ang technologies. Attend seminars. As a teacher you are supposed to take data of your students. You haveto put everything in order, even if you are regular or special education teacher it’s important to take data on your students. There is no one program that will work for this sped student number  one that will work to student number two . Kailangan baguhin mo ,kasi the IEP hindi sya tutugma.Iba ang needs at reinforcement .”


Making a difference in the lives of her students every day . Teacher Jojo also wanted to reach other provinces to help teachers , parents and students by bringing consultancy , workshops and seminars to different parts of the Philippines. Right now teacher Jojo is currently active in her advocacy for ADHD ,

an upcoming event is being organize this October 21, 2017 at Baliwag Star Arena, Baliwag, Bulacan for the ADHD Congress 2017.


“I want to encourage the teachers to continue learning . Innovating. Volunteer work. Get to know people. Most importantly Love your job.” –Teacher Jojo Villareal-Nepomuceno





(Narrator, Matt and David)
Narrator: It was a long time since I was driven down the long road to that dark house…
Music : Low and ominious
Narrator: .. but as the leaves changed that year , something called me back . a certain way the wind moved. The way the moon bore down  on me cloudless nights . the way the chill bit through a little deeper.. it was nearly impossible to begin the journey , but as soon as it did, it all unfolded rapidly.
SFX: Crackle of thunder , followed by onslaught of rain, car wipes, slick road sounds, tinny radio played low under
David: Jesus Matt! Slow down!
SFX: Car swerve
Matt: Look, I got it, okay!.. it’s just these wipers suck.
David: sure it’s not your driving?
Matt: screw you!
David: Bet you’d like to. (BEAT) You really know where we’re going?
Matt: Of course I do! (BEAT) The turn’s. . . It’s one oh these roads on the left here. It’s coming up.
David: By the sounds of it, it’ll be good riddance. Didn’t you say the thing’s crumbling down?
Matt: No! I mean, it’s a little beaten up, but it’s got a little history. And its right on the ocean.
David: Great. (SARCASTICALLY) Think we can do a little bit of fishing?
Matt: (BUYING IT) Oh sure, man — you can catch strippers right of the rocks
David: (MOCK EXCITEMENT) Stripers? Sounds like a party! (LAUGHS) Forgive me while I indulge in a little of what I’m missing
David: Ah . . . Fresh, local, organic.
SFX: Car screech
David: Matt! What the hell!
Matt: It’s the turn!
David: You spilled my stuff all over the place!
Matt: Deal.
David: I shall, in my own pecular way!
SFX: Flicking of lighter, exhale, folky song on road tp raggae beat, turned up
Narrator: two elements were colliding with one another, just as they had the last time I was on the road to this place. Something alive and free, and something darker. I didn’t let on to the dark side, but I know it was there. Just outside my vision.
SFX: Music cuts out briefly to static.
David: Oh man . . .
Matt: Isn’t that funny
SFX: Car decelerated; rides onto slick gravel/ mud mix. Rain drums on the hood as the car idles.
David: What?
Matt: This is where that kid got his eyes gouged out last year. . .
David: Screw you man!
Matt: No I’m serious- see that rock? There’s still black paint from where his car hit it. I guess they hosed it off, scrubbed it, the whole deal, but they couldn’t get it off.
David: Man shut up!
Matt: That’s the lake he almost drowned in, that’s where the truck pulled up. . .
David: Dude!
Matt: (Snapped out pf it) Oh, right, well it’s just funny, isn’t it?
SFX: Car accelerates again. Fiddles with radio knob can’t get a reception.
Matt: Can’t get anything out there.
Narrator: The last miles were always the longest, through the twisting turns of the black woods and onto a onely stretch of Rte 1. the way the rain dissipated on the way, replaced by palpable fog. By the time we reached the farmhouse, it was thick enough to slice.
SFX: Car rolls into gravel. Car turned off, slowly winds down, ticks of couple of times, a brief pause
David: you know, it was sunny down in portland?
Matt: and it will be here tomorroww! Its’s just get- foggy sometimes.
David: (unsure) sure!
Matt: you wanna quit man? It’s gonna be a great weekend.
David: if you say so. At least I’ve got plenty of herb.
SFX: Car doors open, lush night ambience sound of the ocean
Matt: (refreshed) see, now that’s what I’m talking about! You can’t get any closer to this.
David: (Skeptically) I guess not. . .
Matt: now, over there, okay- you see the field? Well, maybe not, . . . This was  an active farmhouse, for a lot of years, before muy great-grandmother bought it.
David: I thought you said it’d been in the family forever.
Matt: well, no, a long time not forever. It was kind of weird, actually.
David: how’s that?
Matt: the family that lived here before. . . Sold it for quite a deal. (uncomfortable sitence) I’ll tell you the rest later.
SFX: Feet crunching over gravel, wooden steps, attempt to open a door, but locked.
Matt: What the-! This door has never been locked.
David: I thought you had the key.
Matt: well, nt for this door. I didn’t even think this one had lock.
David: or maybe you just don’t remember it. For Christ sake.
Matt: Hold on, I’ll get it
SFX: Forcely opening the door.
David: Look, I can just break this window
Matt: Hey! No! David, come on!
David: What? You want to camp outside then?
Matt: we can probably get it trhough the back door
David: fine.
SFX: down wood steps, then patter through the grass
David: so about this house … is that another one of your spooky stories?
Matt: no! even worse –  – it’s true . the mother. . . she went mad. No one knows why she did it , but they found the husband with an axe in his head , and the children tied to a stone in the water.
David: jesus! What is it with you people down here?
Matt: they found her hanging from that tree.
David: . .  . over there?
Matt: She was blowing in the wind when they found her (dramatically) creak, creak, creak…
David: Okay, I get it.
Matt: As a child, I swore I xould sometimes see her swinging there, and here the apple tree.
David: Matt!
Matt: … And the children screaming when the waves crashed on the rocks.
David: Dude, you’re a freak!
Matt: (chuckles)
David: (frustrated) where’s this stupid door?
Matt: Right around the corner here. (Aside) This is the barn they found the husband in, by the by.
David: Give it up, man! (Pause, then “humph”)
David: Any other bright ideas?
Matt: I guess we’ll try one of the windows.
David: There’s a brick right here, I don’t know what you mean by “try” but – –
Matt: This isn’t my house man! Com’n I’m sure one of the ones out front is unlocked!
David: (sung) And so I keep on walking…
David: Hey!
Matt: What?
David: This window’s busted out.
Matt: Oh.. to the basement?
David: Unless you freaks built the pantry underground.
Matt: No, well…
David: Let’s check it out.
Matt: I am not going down there!
David: Fine then. Hand me the flashlight.
Matt: Uh.. from what I can remember… there’s a stairway that leads to a trapdoor, from there you can get in and come around to the front if you want.
David: Sounds easy enough
Matt: Yeah, but–
David: But what?
Matt: Nothing. You sure you want to do this?
David: Of course I do. I ain’t scared! (Laughs)
David: (echo) (coughs) God no one’s been down here in years, have they?
Matt: MATT: Not that I can remember.
David: (echo) I can tell… You got rats bigger than my dog down here man, and I’ve never seen spiders this size… And– wait, what’s that? Holy crap! It looks like… like there’s omething in the corner, maybe, some kind of den here… Let me get a better look.
Matt: Wait, David!
David: (echo) Yeah, it’s– it’s really weird like, there all kinds of rat skulls on it, and… is that blood? Oh, oh no, something’s moving! It’s coming for me!
Matt: (screams)
David: David? David?!!
Matt: Screw you man!
David: You’ve been doing it to me all night. Now, where’s this stairwell…
Matt: That’s not even funny
David: Matt! What’s up with you man? I thought you were going to meet me up front?
Matt: Oh, yeah, well… I thought I heard something.
David: What was it?
Matt: Nothing.
Narrator: As I stood at the door, both excitement and apprehension flooded through me . Many years has passed, and I had no idea what to expect, good, or evil. The door hummed with energy as I stood before it, nearly springing backwards on its rusty hinges to welcome my presence again.
Matt: Well, here we are.
David: And what a dump it is. I thought you told me this place had power?
Matt: It does.
David: Not right now it doesn’t.
Matt: That’s strange maybe the bulb’s burnt out.
Matt: I tried all of them.
Narrator: It felt like no time had passed at all. The same creaking floorboards, the same rustic walls, the blackened wood stove, the antique rocking chairs, the player piano… hardly anything had changed. The house was older, yes, decaying, but its character was unchanged. As I finished surveying the house, there was just one thing I didn’t expect.
Matt: What the hell is this?
David: (approaches from behind) Who’s she? She’s pretty good looking
Matt: Eww, that’s probably my great grandmother!
David: Look it says right here… “Lady Sarah Polk” Polk, what kind of name is that?
Matt: Her name.
David: huh?
Matt: The Lady uh.. ah, you know–
David: Oh.. jeez! What’s it doing on the wall then?
Matt: I don’t know. I’ve never seen it before.
David: What do you mean? It must’ve been here for a long time.
Matt: Well, I don’t remember it. It’s not even covered with dust.
David: (blows) Well, how ’bout that?
Matt: : Come on, it’s giving me a creeps.
Matt: David!
David: Who’s got who scared now?
Narrator: Despite it being out of place, the portrait draw me closer. If only I could… touch it.
David: What the hell!
David: Matt! Are you okay?
Matt: (PANTING) I… feel like something huge just left my body…
David: What the hell dude… And what the… HOW THE HELL DID THAT GET THE LIGHTS ON?
Matt: I don’t know.
David: An electrical short. The thing was grounding out, you completed The circuit right?
Matt: … Sure.
David: I’m going to go get my stuff.
Matt: Sure.
David: I’m just gonna get my stuff and head to bed, okay?
Matt: Fine.
David: And I’m keeping the goddamn flashlight.
Narrator: The energy had returned, (DEEP BREATH, THEN REFRESHED) I knew that I was meant to be here, that it  was right being here, that somehow there was something about thus house that needed me as much as I needed it. And though the reason was yet unclear, I had a feeling that I’d find out soon enough
Matt: (APPROACHING) So you’ve got your pick of any of the rooms down this hall – they’re all bedrooms, that door leads to the attic, but the room over here’s pretty nice…
David: What?
Matt: I always had a nightmare in that room.
David: You were a kid, dude.
Matt: Really, really bad nightmare. It was… her room
David: Can it man. I’m sick of your trying to spook me
Matt: Suit yourself. I’ll be at the end of the hall.
David: See you in the morning. (EERILY) If you last the night
Narrator: I wake up sweating, panting and breathless.  it’s just a nightmare. Another nightmare. A different one. Ever since I saw the house at the old photographs of my father, I keep on dreaming about the house, random people and all of them were creepy. Today, I dreamt about the 2 boys and the house. I wish I know who owns that house, only if my father is alive


Continue reading


Deaf to laughter

‘Tis tree hears no joy but sorrow

There are no ears to hear gladness

No eyes for sight, but sees pain

The heart bleeds like the light turns to darkness

All but emptiness fills the hollow tree

A shattered heart cannot feel a shiver that the cold wind gave

A tree once full of gladness, now numb of joy

Its fruit are rotten by loneliness

The seeds it bore are wretched

Its trunk covered with fresh wounds

As it saps falls like tears

Yearning to memories of spring

A coat of rain drop covers its trunk

Even summer wind blows like winter cold

A tree that’s alone, but never bold

Though it pours so hard, it stands

But never has it washed the pain away

The leaves surrender to the weight of rain

As they fall down, so as its gay

There is ache in the joints of its branches

On its boughs, it hangs grudges

Even birds avoid the tree

The nests on it abandoned

Once so alive in spring

T’was so full of joy and green

Now, not a trace brown or jade

All black, silver and gray

Vacant to emotions, but distraught

Leaves’ descent poses defeat

Roots whilom firm, now drooping

Scars of yesterday litter on its skin

Was so fiery red in the heat of the summer

Pale but alive in the fall

Torpid and vulnerable now in the winter

Will the next spring answer its call?

The tree blooms with gloom

It blossoms pitch-black hue

It thirsts not for water

It can only be quenched by something true

Broken branches and withered leaves

Slow painful death creeps

Darkening day, happiness fades away

And with it fades the life of the treeExif_JPEG_420

To the one who moves my mountains

I wrote a special  letter to the one who deserves praises far beyond everything. Sharing what He has done and believing things won’t stop from here  but  reach your mountains as well . Just like how he moves my mountains , so as in you.

John 3:33

“He who has received His testimony has set his seal to this, that God is true.”


My Abba Father,


I was left alone in the middle of that narrow road. Looking around with nothing to see but darkness- and a far beyond light ahead of me.  Searching how to escape from that mountain  pit nothing was left in my hands but a jar of faith . I clearly remembered  how that jar was –  able to surpass being taken away  by  a wolf and redeemed by the lion. How that jar remained strong and firm through the entire journey in the mountain. You are the one who protected that  jar from falling apart in the rocky roads , you have been the water source of that  jar  to cleanse every dirt from the mud, you give stillness inside that  jar in the midst of the unbreakable storm and most of all you breathe out life in that  jar to  survive.


Right  from the start, you sit beside me  as  I look upon the sky. Kneeling in petition  not to run away  but to  be still. Take what is about and restore what is left undone. You’re the one who replenish my hunger and thirst . Found  contentment alone on what is far more beautiful than any other. It was the moment you breathe life in me again ; captivated by your love ,once been  a slave of fear  but now free.


No one else has been there through it all but you.  My omnipresent helps in times of need, my defender and shield . You have  witnessed those unexplainable circumstances I have to fight and face  just to accomplish what you have said you will do.  At the peak of my emotions you rebuke me with love and kindness. How can I forget that time you torn down all the walls to bring out  hope. And then when the time has come to acknowledge the surrendering process, you never failed to reveal who you are in me and who  am I  in you. Your beloved.


When fear started to arise inside of me ,you stood right by my side and hold my thoughts . I found rest in you. I searched peace from your heart. I received gladness that came from you alone.  Because you’re the one that really matters. The moment I felt so close  and hard to  breathe it was you who put His loving arms around me. I can’t help but scream how you made me whole again. After all it was your presence assuring me through every hurt in the midst of a storm you’ll be there. In every triumph you are the first one to be more than proud. Rejoicing  in everything, it was you who taught me to be brave and keep the FAITH.


Thank you , thank you for  the ways  you fight for me. Revive and restore every part of me for my heart beat is yours alone.  For always bringing  me back to victory. Jesus, you have won my heart over and over again .  And now  allowing  your healing touch surrounds  and works within me, nothing is  left inside  but  an open heart . As the rocks are falling, breaking every chain and rebuilding  a new fountain .I  have nothing to boast  but the life you have given me  now.


Your precious stone,

The Girl who broke the Alabaster Jar

Basti the Success



Coming out from the elevator holding his Samsonite bag on his shoulder, on his left hand phone and car key, and on his right a cup of his favorite latte from a coffee shop. The barks of the dogs were filling the hallway towards his unit on the 32nd floor of Serendra Tower II in Bonifacio Global City. After a tiring day coming home from work Basti was opening the door and welcomed by his cuddly white and creamy Labradors.  They jump over his lap, lick his arms and feet.  Basti went straight to the kitchen looking for a dessert to fit for his latte.  Opens the fridge and found a mango crepe topped with roasted pili nuts and whipped cream. Holding his plate of dessert, Basti move his feet towards the balcony facing the different skyscrapers of Taguig in his front. Looking up upon the night sky, connecting the stars by his hand and from his sight an overlooking view of the highways and city lights surrounding him. On His side a woven water lily chair where he sits and stretched   his tired legs and arms. He placed his plate on the table side, during the night stars Basti started thinking about the question of the investor he met before he held back home. His phone rang and the investor was again asking about the name of their company Janitress. “Why do I have to know the name of those women? Why is the investor taking time to ask me for just that matter?”


The next day, employees are coming over to the company hurrying themselves to get inside the elevator before 8 a.m. because as soon as Basti gets inn only Basti is allowed to use the elevator going to his office. The staffs in his office are shaking their heads thinking if they can survive a day. From the loud mouth of Basti to his sensitive working standard, almost every two months one or two of his staffs are being fired because they can’t get along with the standard work Basti requires. After the board meeting the same investor he meets last night was there, they talked about different things in the business they are about to be partners with until the investor mentioned “Signing of contracts will be done unless you tell me the name of that old women in the Lobby or else no partnership” after that the investor immediately left. Basti called one of His staff and asked to know about that old lady on the lobby. To Basti’s surprise the old lady was the companies long term janitress and recently the old lady loss his husband and children in a car accident. The old lady was serving them from the time of his Lolo down to His Father and now to Basti’s term.  The old lady was also His late father’s personal cleaner in the office, looking at the record the old lady got the highest benefits of retirement that His father grant for the old lady. Sending a message to the investor Basti told Him that he already knew the name of the old lady at the lobby and with that contracts are set to be signed tomorrow morning.


That night as I was about to give Basti’s coffee I saw him staring at the picture of his late father.  “Do you miss him? It’s been years the last time I saw you looking to that picture” I said. Basti replied “Nay, I hate him from the very start mom left us when I was still young because he has no time for us. I promised myself when I grew up I will punish those people in the company who take him away from us during those years we need him. And I realize now that I’m the CEO of the company I took away all the employees retirement  benefits one way of my revenge, but awhile ago  Uncle Lito who is my new investor asked me to know the name of this old lady in the lobby which happens to be our companies long term employee. I remember that old lady before, she used to serve me foods those times I’m waiting for my dad inside the office. How selfish I am. All along I tried to prove myself to everyone that I am better than my dad but look who is talking; His arrogant son who tends to pretend he knows everything.”I embrace tightly my crying Basti.

I was the one taking care of Basti the moment his mom left her, because his dad was very busy in the company I saw Basti’s struggle as a child. Those times he was bullied in school for some character issues wherein I am always the one his father sent in the principal’s office in his behalf. I’ve been Basti’s best friend, listener, father, mother, sibling and most of his entire nanny. The impact of hatred between his fathers was really deep; he strives harder and harder because in the family there is no room for mistakes. His father raised him to be stronger and wiser from all. Basti Strives for success and yes he has that now the money success but the inner one is a process.  The lovely and caring heart when he was still a child was taken away from Basti, replaced by a stonehearted person developed by pain, hurts, pressure and anger. Tonight Basti was enlighten about the fruit of his actions. I keep telling Basti the only success is not define by this world , rather the contentment of the heart matters. The world will not give you success for only your actions towards people around you will say you are a successful one. Life is not about being arrogant  and revenge , they may things we wish we don’t undergone but let’s keep returning and sowing the kindness and love for others.


When It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

Have you ever questioned yourself why there are pains in this life?  Or maybe you felt unjustified by a specific issue? How can you respond perfectly well if totally you yourself are not okay? It was a very roller coaster ride of life, wherein I found myself not really okay, but trying to be. Those nights I look upon the sky at night and whisper in the air “Is there any justice in this life?” I was blinded looking for justice in this world and putting things and ways in my hand that I almost forgot to look up the sky higher than mine. Knowing there is a God who gives justice to His people who are suffering.

People say that in life there are truly sufferings, trials, test and troubles but we must respond in a positive way. Remember there is nothing wrong in having a positive kind of thinking; we should be positive in all ways, but in this world do we give space for people to lament? Do we allow them to express themselves that they are not okay?

Ordinary people may find me weird but whenever I’m not okay, I always bring my cares and burdens upon God, because I am afraid that people will judge me for who am I and what I’ve done. I always keep it to myself whenever I am not okay. I project a wonderful smile to people every day, help them, love them but deep inside a broken heart of being bold and honest.

Continue reading

Meet You In My Dreams


Late at night ,  busy doing my  remaining five baskets of  laundry  my phone rang, I tried to ignore the call but suddenly you came to my mind . So I rushed coming down from the second floor, to my surprise there you are, your name was flashed on my phone screen.  My heart started to beat fast and I don’t know what to do. I missed a call from you, you don’t usually give a call and seeing that phone call record my heart was really surprised. Standing at my feet holding my phone I was seeing you; standing in front of my house holding a bag of our favorite on –the-go food with our favorite milk shake drink. With your car parked at the back of mine, you opened your car trunk surprised me with a big arrangement of my favorite balloons and hand me my favorite cookie.  I can’t ask for more, you never fail when it comes to surprises. You never forget to put a smile on my face and hug me tight closer to your arms and feeling the beat of your heart and mine. I always remind myself those times how lucky I am to have someone like you whose heart was full of love and compassion ,but I have to deal with it’s just a dream after all.

I have to face the reality that there was never an us now, I have to tell myself not to think of you anymore because every time I would , tears in my eyes and to my heart is always present . I have to give up all our dreams and promises to each other leaving those behind with a broken heart, but what remains are those memories we’ve shared.  The photographs that are developed thru our hearts ,those conversations at night being locked in my head ,those late night drives we used  to do together are being fueled by our connections and those timeless and treasured I love you we used to say to one another.

How can I move forward if your name was still carved inside my heart, no stone even water can soften but only your word of saying “can we talk?” I’m still walking tonight in this river bank whispering someday will go back here and settle things to be right. I won’t and I don’t hold any grudges towards you after all we have been through but a heart willing to accept you and understand for whom you are.  I’m waiting and even when seasons can’t bare I will still  wait for that time of healing . Tonight I look upon those stars  in the night , someday somewhere our paths would cross again you know my name.